It's a little later and I just felt like rambling some more. As I was walking a couple of nights ago I started contemplating my change of attitude when I was in Minnesota this weekend. I felt like a new person despite being in a wedding and all the crap involved with it. It made me start thinking about my relationship with South Dakota. I decided that I have an abusive boyfriend relationship with it. I am sure that I will come up with more examples but here are the couple I thought of:

A. As soon as I get away from the state I feel relief for the first couple of days and I don't think about being there, but after a couple of days I start to miss being home. That is like a girl getting away from her boyfriend and forgetting the abuse. It is like thinking of the blows received as love taps. That is how I get when I am away from SD or at least Brookings.

B. I contemplate moving but then I think about how good my life is economically. That is one of the main reasons that women stay with abusers, fear of economic struggles.

C. I also contemplate moving but then I think about how my family life would be affected. Ditto for the beat down woman.

So basically South Dakota is beating the shit out of me, but I continue to stay. Yes, this is how my mind functions..... I just felt so happy and so lite when I was gone from Thursday to Sunday night. As soon as I got close to SD I felt a wave of dread come over me, the smile that was on my face disappeared. It made me realize that I need to give a different location a try, because obviously 25 years of living in the same town has not made me love it so much that leaving will kill me. Since I enjoyed the hours of the casino/hotel that I stayed at for the wedding, I am contemplating joining my friend Dayna in Vegas. I could get used to people being up all day, especially at 4 in the morning.