Promises get broken

I said I wasn't going to stay over another night- but alas!- I am. I woke up from my dream of me sitting at a table in a very fancy setting. My tablemates were Barbara Walters who was interviewing President George W. Bush and his wife Laura who was wearing the most unflattering shade of coral for lipstick. I was just telling her about it when my phone rang- to tell me my car was ready to pick up. I wonder where that dream would have gone? Anyway- I got up and ready and my mom drove me down- then we went over and picked up the youngest niece and got her a haircut. I got one too and I feel a little less sloppy with the hair. Anyway- I really didn't get anything accomplished today and I'm not getting anything done still. I watched Unfaithful on TNT with my mom today- and I promise I will never commit adultery (at least not like Diane Lane's character). Anyway- I'm still trying to figure out the camera software- no luck yet. I will be staying in SF next weekend though- so bye...

She Bop-a-He Bop Canadian style

I happened to glance at the Oddly Enough news tonight and saw this article about one Canadian man's 'Dancing in the Dark' http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20050128/od_nm/canada_indecency_dc

I guess when I masturbate I'm not standing up usually so I guess I can't get away with it- now the guy will forever be known as the guy who jerks off by his window.

I came up because I am finally going to get my car recall stuff fixed. I came up after work and as I walked into the house I see that my parents have just purchased a DVD recorder- what the fuck! Where are they getting all the money and why are they all of a sudden going gadget crazy? Anyway- I spent the majority of the night screaming at the computer because I installed my camera shit into it and it keeps making the computer shut down. I really do suck at all the fine details. I hope to not be here tomorrow night- I am definitely not going to sleep over another night. I haven't watched any movies recently so I really can't talk about that- although I have checked out 28 Days Later twice from the library and haven't watched it once. I was "sick" on Wednesday- aka I just didn't want to go to work- really bad. I may regret the decision later but I'm alright with it now.

Every time I hear a commercial for one of those speed date things or I see people doing it on TV- I feel physically sick. It is combining two stressful things for me- men and interviews. And then what if no one is interested- how crushing would it be to have no one pick you(aka me)? I don't handle rejection well at all- I want everyone to like me- at least as a friend. If I am still single at 33 maybe I'll try it..

I really must have adult ADHD- because the way I jump from thought to thought can't possibly be normal. I must get to sleep soon because I am tired- extremely tired.

Oh and if someone named Ned is reading this- I can't find your yahoo name anywhere or else I would talk to you

Blowing kisses

I had a lovely afternoon with my nieces- Samantha was a doll- totally happy and playful. I really needed that to restore my motive for coming to Brookings. I wish that I lived in the same town still- because I would love to watch her a lot. Anyway- I'm preparing to go back to Sioux Falls- I always leave with tons more stuff than I brought.

I have been watching with a little embarassment the VH1's 'I Love the 90s: Part Deux' and I just keep feeling strange about it. What are we going to do for these years comment on the comments we made? Live your life and then many years later you can look back- I think that is a big problem- we have to always make something out of nothing. Anyway- I can blab on like that but I know that I will still watch those shows. I think that has nipped a lot of fads in the bud- because they get made fun of fast.

I will be back next weekend because I need to have recall work done on my car- good old Lumina! So anyway- bye

Reality

I came up to Brookings this afternoon (Saturday that is) to do massive amounts of laundry and pretend that I will spend quality time with my family. I am more of a quantity than quality person. How can you compete with other distractions that happen on the weekend? I usually get to see the younger one for about two hours and the whole time her sister is trying to retain all the attention. It basically drives me crazy- but what are the alternatives? Not coming home to Brookings and never seeing them. Anyway- I did spend some good moments with my niece today- we played the Spongebob games I got her for X-mas. I just got done watching 'Jersey Girl' with my mom- it was alright for a Ben Affleck movie. Man- at one time in my life I really liked him!
My mom and Taylor came up on Sunday last weekend and I went to the Incredibles with Tay. Now that was a good movie- Pixar always does a good job.

I've been a total recluse lately- I like staying at my apartment. I know I need to just get out and go out and be young and single- but it is just so scary. My friend Rebekah mentioned someone her husband works for and if basically she could set me up on a date with him. It isn't that I wouldn't want to but I'm just so scared I'm like a deer in headlights. Twenty-seven is just such a scary age to be alone- I don't think I could handle that emotionally. All my other friends are either married or in relationships. Their stress is when to start having children- how strange! When did everyone grow up- I missed it! Sorry I'm just having weird PMS rants.

Just Like Old Times

I'm here- sitting in front of the computer- the only difference from last year is I am a year older and I have accumulated more shit. I guess I should do an overview of last year- I can sum it up in a couple of sentences. Vickie treated me like shit.I worked and I barely got to see my nieces, and I'm poor. There is the negative way to look at this last year. I think that there are some positives about last year-- for example- I lasted a whole year at my first job and my first solo apartment. I got a digital camera. My friend Rebekah got married. My family is healthy- so am I.

Anyway....
I went up to Rebekah and Jamie's for New Years. I had a great time talking and hanging out with them. We had our first winter storm this last week- I hate snow! I rented Garden State and Napoleon Dynamite- I liked them but not enough to buy them and rewatch them over and over. I love Zach Braff so I expected to love Garden State- oh well...
I have watched so many dang movies in the last couple of weeks that I am in a catatonic state. I do plan on watching 28 Days Later- um later on tonight.

There is some dialogue from Garden State that I liked- I was just talking to Rebekah about this same subject and he phrased pretty much how I feel.

Andrew: You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore. All of a sudden, even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.

Sam: I still feel at home in my house.

Andrew: You'll see one day when you move out. Just sorta happens one day, and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist.
Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know? You won't ever have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself. You know, for-- For your kids. For the family you start. It's like a cycle or something. I don't know. But I miss the idea of it, you know?
Maybe that's all family really is.
A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.

Sam: Maybe

It's simple but it captures how I feel lately- I was either living with my parents or in the same town- so these 'college' feelings are happening to me now. Anyway- I'm doing laundry.