Here are the actual quotes from 'Shortcomings'- Season 2 of Sex and the City- see below if uncomprehensible-

Miranda: I don't wear vintage clothes, I hate flea markets, I don't collect antiques. Is it too much to ask that he not be...I don't know.... used?...... It's like chewing someone else's gum.

Not saying that I fully agree with that- but basically it is true. And it doesn't even have to have a child present- just the scars of previous relationships- marriage or otherwise- sucks. I don't want to gain a used boyfriend- because I am new- only been test driven occasionally- and then only in town. Wow- I am a retard! I went out for about three hours- had three talls at Skinners and went home at midnight- woo hoo- I'm wild!

I went 'house' hunting with my mother today in Sioux Falls- and it sucked. I am going to have to spend more money than I thought for a decent place. I just want to be assured of being in a warm place for the winter- with adequate bathroom and kitchen facilities. All the places we looked at today were pretty shitty- I think mainly because of the side of town we were looking at- so next week is time to hunt the city for a place to stay. That should be fun!??? So if someone who has knowledge of a rocking place in SF happens to read this email me at hella_goodsd@yahoo.com

I plan to sleep a lot tomorrow morning- and then get up and go over to see my nieces. Such a busy life I lead...

Well after two straight weeks of working- I am now a worker ant- I live for my weekends. That's not true really- I am enjoying all week. This morning I went over and hung out with my baby niece while her mom (my sister) had a little time away. She is starting to get a personality- I can't wait until she responds to me though. I had to be at work at noon- so I was on the road at 11. I need to stop speeding- because it is only a matter of time before I get a ticket. I used to notch it up to 79 then it became 80 or 81. Today I caught myself setting the cruise control at 85. Bad Sarah! Anyway- work is there and I am getting more comfortable with the routine. Tomorrow I look for apartments? Well maybe.... or Sunday. I might go out tomorrow night- have a celebration for my new job and my first paycheck.

I haven't talked about Survivor recently- mainly because it really wasn't too interesting. This week's episode was pretty gnarly- yes I just said gnarly. It was only a matter of time before someone tried gunning for Rupert- and who blames them? I am pretty sure that he won't win- just because he is a big threat for both sides. Still unsure how it is going to turn out- and that makes it interesting. My mom and I went crazy at the last tribal council- when that Trish woman lied to everyone after being asked point blank about the Rupert stuff. That John guy has got to go- totally annoying- I would have wanted to punch him in the face if I was a member of the Morgan tribe- when he told them that they had only won the first challenge because their team had thrown it. When Morgan won the last immunity challenge- the leader (name is escaping me) was so happy he cried. So anyhoo- we will see how it goes.

And other entertainment news... I am getting close to being obsessed with Sex and the City. I am now on Season Three. I have nothing in common with these women albeit a vagina, but I love the show. I had heard about the show and the characters before- and I had always assumed that I would feel more in common with the character Charlotte. I can't stand her at all- I like the actress- but damn she has to play a really shallow person. She's so hung up on appearences, and even though she says she is innocent she has almost sex as the supposed whore of the show, Samantha. I enjoy Samantha, she tells it like it is. Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie, is alright. She can be annoying as well, and her 'relationships' are totally fucked up. The one character I thought I would dislike the most is my favorite, Miranda. She doesn't know what she wants- she wants it all and she wants nothing. She has red hair and a cat- that is where the physical and life style shared characteristics end. I shouldn't be writing this, but there was an episode where she dates (and on the show- of course fucks) that is a divorced father of a young child. Miranda doesn't feel comfortable with this and states the funniest and most truthful lines about why she has trouble accepting it. I am going to write it down because it is so good- but right now I am without access to the DVD- I'll plug it in later. What she says is so me- it might sound shallow- but it is also just me. I would be too much hard work starting my own family much less meeting someone who already has it started. I just watched an episode last night where Miranda finds out she contracted a STD, and she has to go through her list of partners over her life. Her number was 42! Yikes! And it had stated that she had never been tested before- say what!!!- she's supposed to be this thirty-something smart lawyer and she had never been tested!? If someone so much sneezes on me I am getting tested. I have about 8 years to reach the same numbers- do you think I can do it? First I have to find number one......

It is a little after 10 PM on a Tuesday night and I am ready for bed- WEIRD!!- I still have a cold that is messing with my mind and body. I went in early to work and that has exhausted me. I found this great article about the sickly season - ya'll should check it out!

I hate having a head cold. I have one right now. Plus an extremely early period- not that I am complaining too strongly about that- but I'm not used to normal menstration, so now I am doubly wiped out. And it is my first weekend after a full week of work- so I am triple tired.

The main good thing to come out of my new job- other than the whole getting money thing- is that my cat has fallen in love with me.... I was going to say again... but that's not true. I guess she is realizing how much she loves me for the first time. I have always been there since she was a kitten- she doesn't remember being alone. I wake up to her camped out on my chest waiting for her petting- and then the purring commences. It makes me feel like a parent seeing their baby smile for the first time- because Hella is such a silent cat- always has been. Now she purrs all the time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder I guess....

I'm listening to one of my new CD's- this one is Just Because I'm a Woman- Songs of Dolly Parton a collection of her songs sung by other artists. It is pretty good so far. I also got the new Totally Hits 2003 and the new Elvis Greatest Hits CD 2nd to None. My sister still has my copy of the first one- so I may have to eventually buy that again. This one has a lot of my favorites- like 'Little Sister'. So I have been going a little crazy with buying CDs lately. I am definitely buying the new NOW cd though- I just saw the advertisment on TV- it should be in stores in I'll say three weeks maximum. I admit it freely, I love those CDs- I bought similiar ones before they were cool- mind you the songs were from the 80s and early nineties- but they were the hits performed by the actual artists. I always hate finding ones that feature great songs and at such a reasonable price and then you see that crappy line on the bottom of the CD 'Performed by the Afternoon Delights' or some other shitty cheesy name. I would rather pay the extra five dollars for a decent version- thanks, but no thanks. One day my friend Vickie was raving about her new CD and that she now has 'I Will Survive'. She puts it on in front of me- and I had to inform her that the lady was no Gloria Gaynor- probably more like a Susan Johnson with a part-time job. Well anyway, I feel very strongly about that topic.... I also bought the DVD of 'The Sure Thing'- it is probably the best John Cusack film ever. I may watch it sometime soon.

I'm going to watch 'Dreamcatcher' tonight- I just want to get in the right mindset. I have spent the last week watching Season Two of Sex and the City. I have only seen two episodes of the show at the most before I rented the season last week. I like it a lot. While I hope that women aren't having that much promiscious sex these days- I love the topics that are discussed. My friends and I are very open about sex, and it makes me remember the good times when seeing the four women talking. I'm going to rent Season Three tomorrow night- and stretch it out over the next week.

I had a good day today- I hung out with my niece- doing trivial shit- that all added up to a great day. I gave her parents some alone time with the baby, who is home now. I went over and held the new baby for about thirty minutes- I still feel weird about her- because I have yet to hold her while she is fully awake- so not hearing her cries and seeing her feed makes me feel like I am holding a lifelike doll. I am excited about her growing in the next three months. Christmas should be a fun time. I can't wait for when I have my own baby- but I'm in no rush- at least until age 34- then I will be trying to get any male in a 100 mile radius to impregnate me. That leaves me with less than 9 years to find someone. I guess I should get all decked out and head to the bar right now- find me a real winner....

So tired- think that my brain is going to turn to mush. Yet I am up at midnight- go figure! The new job is going..... I was going to say great- but that's jumping the gun. I do enjoy working with the little ones again- and after the first couple of diapers my fingers remembered how the routine goes. The commute right now is killing me- I know it's not that far but coupled with my having to work at nine and being a recovering night owl is stressful.

My niece is doing good- she will more than likely be out of the hospital tomorrow or in the next couple of days. I am pretty excited for Taylor to finally touch her and hold her. There was a big blow out with my sister and her husband and my mother- because my mom told her that she can't smoke around the baby and that she needs to quit smoking. I was caught in the middle because I agree with my mom about the smoking, but I also know how my mother manuvers and how she will just keep nagging for hours on end. Anyway, that's another stress I have had in the last week.

I have been missing my cat so much lately- poor kitty was so used to me being home all the time. Plus, I haven't yet watched last week's Survivor- but I intend on taping tonights and watching both this weekend. Because I know there must be a lot of disappointed people- hahahehe

The site that I put on Friday is right- but my niece's picture is still MIA. I haven't held her again. I went to the hospital today with my parents and my niece. Taylor and I got dropped off at Chuck E Cheese for about two hours. I tell you big fun- I could play Skee ball all day long. I am also big on getting photos at those kind of places. We took about six different pictures, because they were only a token each. So we generally had a great time and then we were picked up and we hung around the hallway while her parents feed Samantha. I am happy for my niece though because she finally got to see the baby close up- because a nurse held her to the window. I am sure I will keep everyone informed on her progress in the next couple of days.

I chopped the hair, it is above my shoulders. I cut off 7 inches. I needed a minimum of 10 inches for Locks of Love- so yeah.... I did it for not. I also colored my hair- so I feel like a new woman. I work tomorrow at about noon. I can't wait until I get an apartment in SF so I don't have to drive every day.

I had a good time out last night for my friend Vickie's birthday. Didn't do anything outrageous, but had a fun time just sitting back and talking. I also danced- well at least my version of it.

I survived my first day of work- I am in orientation right now- that means going to about four different classrooms during the day- so I got to be in the 2 year-old room, the preschool room (4 & 5), the infant room, and play with the 3 & 4's. So I had fun today- I am looking forward to tomorrow- I get to be in four other rooms. I start on Monday at 9 (with an hour drive). So I was there from 10 until 5:30- tomorrow I am there from 12 till 6.

I headed to the hospital right after I got done with work. My dad was there, along with my sister and my brother-in-law and my older niece. I found them outside in the hallway watching through the glass as my brother-in-law's mother held Samantha. Then my dad held her a second time- and I kept watching through the glass. My poor Taylor- she so badly wants to hold the baby- but she's not old enough to go in. As I was heading to go and scrub up she was starting to cry. My poor baby girl.

So I scrubbed up and donned a gown and got to head in to hold the baby. I am going to include the link to see her- because is doesn't say last names anyway. Here is where you can find Samantha Rose 10-7-03. It could serve as a warning against smoking during pregnancy. I am disgusted with it- I was sick last Saturday when she lite up a total of 7 times in an afternoon. It is hard to talk about because it makes it seem like we encouraged her to do it- but we didn't. My mom and I both talked to her about it when she just learned she was pregnant, and then in her 5th month there was a big blow-out and it seemed like we were cut off from her family. So I didn't want to say anything and jeopardize seeing my nieces. She only talks about the high blood pressure but she knows- she's not stupid- and maybe that is the worst part of it- she is incredibly intelligent. The guilt is doing a pretty good job on her I think, and frankly she deserves it. So right now I am just being there for my sister and her family. If I ever see a pregnant woman smoking- I'm going to smack the cigarette out of her hand- and shove a picture of my niece in her face. It is sad when my older niece who was 5 pounds 8 ounces looks huge in comparison to Samantha. All my babies are going to be given the best chance in life- I owe them that. I have a feeling that I will have big babies- 9 pounders.

Baby Samantha is so tiny- it was very odd holding her- it doesn't seem real still- because she is just so little. I told her that I am her cool young aunt and that I am going to spoil her. She grasped my pinkie pretty strongly, so I take it that as her agreeing with everything I said. She has blonde hair- I thought it was reddish- but it is pretty blonde up close. I had my sister take a polaroid of me holding her- and it just happens to be in the same pose as when I held her sister almost 7 years ago. I came home and got that picture and studied myself- yes now I am turning the conversation into all about me. I had bangs when I was 18, braces, and I hadn't yet discovered waxing eyebrows. For some reason my eyes are all squinty in the older picture- maybe they were weighed down with excess eyebrow hair?? I much more confident then that 18 year-old- and that made me happy.

Damn I really want to talk tonight- last night when I was struggling to fall asleep I decided that the hair had to go. So I am going to get it cut this weekend. I need to find the address of 'Locks of Love' and send my ponytail in so that wigs can be made for children with cancer. I am really going to chop it- because my hair is super fucking long- and kind of weighed down and therefore falling out easily. I want something cute and bouncy. I am getting excited about going out for my friend's birthday on Saturday- I want to dance and have fun.

Big events in women's lives usually leads to dramatic changes in hair or appearance. This week has been a big week.

The baby is doing well- as well as can be expected weighing three pounds. Went up with the fam to see her- my mom and dad got to hold her- my brother and myself didn't. I am going to finally get to hold her tomorrow- after my first day on the new job. So yeah- that's basically my life right now- still rather boring but hectic at the same time. I am sure I will talk about the first day tomorrow and getting to hold my sweet baby niece.

Howdy-ho!
I'm an aunt again! My sister's blood pressure was too high at her doctor's appointment today- so it was decided that the baby had to come out. Well- after it appeared the baby was in distress- attempts at a natural birth were scraped, and she had a C-section. We didn't know this coming up to SF- so when we got there we were quite surprised. Her name is Samantha Rose. She is tiny and I mean tiny- 3 lbs and 8 ounces. She is seemingly healthy though- I guess I will know more tomorrow. She has a full set of reddish-blonde hair. I also got a new job today- so hey it's been a pretty good day.

Well- I made it to the interview- and it went well- I guess....? So I got to while away the afternoon then in a lovely warm October day. I went to Falls Park and sat and read and wrote in my journal. It was a very pleasant time- although I kept expecting to see the person who first showed me the park so I would be looking around every once in a while unconsciously- but I didn't see him. I love summer days- and today was a summer day baby! I actually got up at 7:30 AM- shocking I know! (well at least for people who really know me). So I got about four hours of sleep- and I probably will still stay up until at least 1 tonight. But I think I am going to start doing this crazy thing called sleeping during the night- and being awake in the daytime- because I kind of enjoyed it.

While I was in SF- I made some purchases- including 'A Mighty Wind' just because I know I am going to love it anyway. I also went to Barnes and Noble and got about three books- so yay!- I will be reading this week. My friend Vickie is going to turn 25 on Saturday and I have to conserve my energy for a wild night out. She promised me that she was going to do a jager bomber shot with me- yum! I would like to note that once again I felt extremely happy today as soon as I left Brookings- weird huh?

This quote pretty much sums up my thoughts while glancing at the self-improvement section in B&N:
I was going to buy a copy of 'The Power of Positive Thinking,' and then I thought: What the hell good would that do? - Ronnie Shakes

I should be sleeping- but darn it I am awake! I just got done watching 'Kissing Jessica Stein'. I have been wanting to see it for a long time now. A quick summary of the movie is that a woman about 30 is tired of looking for 'Mr. Right' via blind dates. She answers a classified ad from a woman- and thus ensues a relationship that is somewhere between friendship and romance. It was really good- I enjoy independent films every once and a while. I related to the Jessica character- in a lot of ways. I didn't come away from the film looking at my life any differently though. I could never be a lesbian- sure it was fun acting stupid with friends when I was younger at bars for free drinks. But mainly that was just us trying to scam guys(it was pretty easily done). I like guys- and yet I hate them. I guess when I meet the right person I'll know- but as the years go by it is getting harder telling myself that and believing it.

I have an interview tomorrow in Sioux Falls- at a place I really am not so sure about how I get to. So I hope I find my way. That is why I should be in bed. I am going to have to curl my hair tomorrow- which totally pisses me off. It is getting so fucking long- that I am tempted to just chop it off. Then I regain my senses and talk myself out of it. In December if I still feel so strongly about it then I can do it. I have been growing my hair out for about a year and a half. It is long- past my shoulder blades. I just don't want to be the person who uses her hair as a security blanket, I wish I was the bohemian type with long hair but I can't really pull that off. So sooner than later, the hair will be cut.

I hate my body right now- I walk every fucking day- average of 6 miles a day- but am I seeing any firming up recently? The answer would be no. I did stupidly weigh myself the other day and I know that I have lost weight- about 50 pounds to be exact. But right now I am at a standstill- a plateau- and it is pissing me off and making me depressed. Then I start looking at myself through other people's eyes- which is so not good to do- but I am my mother's daughter. I do care what people think about me- but I hate when I let people's opinions become my own. So tomorrow I am going to go the falls and have a relaxing hour or so reading out of 'When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies' and try to regain a firm grip on how I react to assholes. Hot damn- it's almost 3 AM- I'm getting to sleep.

Hey! I took a couple of days off of reporting my mundane life. I've been places and done things. I haven't done my review of Survivor this week yet. It will be short this week. My team, Drake, is dominating the challenges- both reward and immunity. They have yet to lose any of them- so that's a total of 5 in a row. So hopefully something will happen that will shake up the teams and make it interesting.

I watched 'Bend it Like Beckham' and I liked it. I wouldn't buy the movie- but it was enjoyable. I would recommend it. I went to SF today with my sister and niece and did a lot of 'window shopping' seeing as I have no money. I encouraged my sister to buy 'A Mighty Wind' so I can borrow it. Selfish, I know! Still haven't seen it, but it's there for the asking.

And on Friday I finally got my contacts! I hate glasses so much. I wonder if it is scientifically proven that people who wear glasses only have poor self esteem. I generally feel frumpy with my contacts on, but damn I didn't even care when I had my glasses on. I felt so radiant when I first put my contacts in, it's faded since then.

I might have more to talk about tomorrow- my brain is ready to fall out right now though. I need to start getting my days and nights straight (another famous quote from my father).

I found an article that made me feel a little bit better about my forgetting my niece at school- check it out Mind you, It doesn't make me feel good about people, but I'm not as bad comparatively so.....

I rented 'Bend it like Beckham' tonight- it looks good. I really wanted Dreamcatcher because I have read the book- but it was gone. I'll let you know what I think about the movie. I also bought Martina McBride's new CD 'Martina' today. Mainly because I really like 'This One's For the Girls'- so hey- if you are my friend I'll let you borrow mine if I can borrow yours!! I need to go to the computers on campus and burn some CDs tomorrow because I have overdo library CDs.

'The way I see it, God put me on Earth to achieve a certain number of things. By now I'm so far behind, I'll never die.' -Calvin and Hobbes