As I was walking tonight I focused on one thing- a quote and how true it is. It was said by Michelle Ventor "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you'll know exactly what to do."

I have been having problems lately deciding where someone fit into my life. But just like the quote says when you figure it out you feel relaxed. Because I thought a certain person could be at least a season. But his actions or lack of actions have lead me to accept that he was a reason. A very good reason while it lasted- and he served a need that I had. So when I was walking I thought about how many people out there that are mismatched. How many people are seeing a lifetime in a reason or a season, and vice versa? And this not just about a romantic relationship. This deals with all relationships. I guess that is part of life never knowing what people will come into it and which people will stay. Life would be very boring if we didn't have these different people. So after two weeks of being ignored I have come to the realization that the person came and went. What has been keeping me all racked with emotion is feeling like I was the person who is to 'blame' but I am past that now. See I like to just let all my emotions out for possible public display.

On a lighter note, I went to the library and stocked up on books. I always get thrilled when they have books that I want. I also got some CDs while I was there. This will show you what kind of person I am. I got The Muppet Show's Music, Mayhem, and More!, the Lizzie McGuire Movie soundtrack, and the musical Urinetown. Mind you I generally listen to more adult choices but... they called to me.
Something disturbing happened to me on an earlier walk with a friend. She called and told me she was running a little late that she had fallen asleep at 2 in the afternoon. I was confused about it, since she had told me she had just woke up at 1. So we start our walk at 3:15 and after a short conversation and three blocks she starts laughing to herself. Then she mentions that she called up a 'booty call' to arrange a possible early morning session. She continues to tell me that her guy says 'what about now?' and so I have the knowledge that my friend just had sex- goo! That whole situation I could go on for paragraphs about... but I'm not going to. It just reminded how much sex or intimacy I'm getting- which is none.
Another thing that will remind how lonely and single I am is a college roommate's wedding. I am a bridesmaid and it is on the 30th. So not only do I get to tell people that no I have no good job, but that I also don't have any romantic relationship. So guess who will be boozing it up come Saturday night, possibly by myself in my hotel room? But it will be a chance to look through old photos and laugh with friends so how can I complain?