The Myth of Me and You

I read this book last week (the title) it is by Leah Stewart and it is a novel about a woman's journey to find an old friend that she had abandoned years before. I had seen reviews about it and had planned on reading it, I think I was half believing that it would offer some insight into my friend betrayal that occurred about two years ago. The thing I realizied though when I was half through it is that I don't feel as strongly about it as I did- that pain has healed a lot. There is still scar tissue, but I don't wake up every morning feeling the pain. The only thing that I really could appreciate from the book is that I am not alone at grieving the loss of a friendship- in many ways it is worse than a romantic break-up. Since I have read the book I have had Vickie in dreams of mine- and they mimic real life. Anyway- I think she is living at home with her parents again- did I mention she was my neighbor all my life? Maybe people realizied what a bitch she was and dumped or fired her. Okay that was mean- I know, I know! I'll stop...

Now I am reading Shopaholic and Sister, mainly because I read the other three and I don't like to not finish a series. Those books always make me want to slap the shit out of the Becky Bloomwood because she's an idiot and at the same time I totally see myself in her actions.

Okay- I really don't know where I am going with this entry, but I better get to sleep it was a long long day at work

I'll leave you with one word of caution before I part- Only watch 'She's the Man' if you have a couple of hours to waste, absolutely nothing to do, and it's free. Otherwise see 'Just One of the Guys' (that is the title I think?) it was done better, that and it's an 80's movie which can't be beat!

Wow- I am such a bitch!

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you just don't care who you piss off? Well I have reached it and gone a mile beyond. I am constantly coming down to Brookings to see my relatives and no one ever comes up to see me. I almost lose my job, does anyone come up- no. I cry about how lonely I am, does anyone come up- no again. I get an award from work and am really excited about it- still no one. I'm bitching and yes I am fully aware of it. The same comment from everyone in my family is - 'When I have some money I'm going to come up and shop.'- um hello I don't come to Brookings for the vast opportunities to spend money I come up to see you shitheads. As a punishment/encouragement for my older niece her parents have decided that she wasn't going to have any sleepovers in Sioux Falls until she read all her required reading. It is basically my punishment- because I really enjoy doing things in Sioux Falls with my niece. Plus- maybe a better punishment would be to take her TV and DVD player out of her room - wouldn't that make more sense- but of course that would be taking away the 'babysitter'. Anyway- I am in my 'kick you in the balls' stage of PMS. Every little thing is making me want to scream. I always tell my cat she is lucky she doesn't have to deal with her family. Okay that sounds crazy- but she is often the only thing to talk to other than myself. Wow- I am so lonely.

Gilmore Girls made me almost puke this last Tuesday- Rory is the biggest cock tease ever- I am really not liking her this season. The writers are totally letting me down- I hope they can pull it together. Survivor is on, and yes I am watching it. Terry is as close to perfect as possible- perfect being Tom from last season. I am totally into the masculine powers he possesses. Rrrr! There are currently three shows I try not to miss- those first two and Lost- in other words I have Monday, Friday, and the weekend to possibly do things.

Another thing that I have recently enjoyed is finally biting the bullet and getting a library card from SF. I was convinced that it would be too hard to find somewhere to park or that I would get a parking ticket that I hadn't got one. Now I will be there all the time- because for me shopping and checking out books is really similar action to me. It feeds me desire to gather shit without making me really really poor- and I don't have all the clutter. When I get the urge to buy I'm going to go to the library- I promise!

I went to a couple of movies at the 3 dollar theatre recently- Brokeback Mountain and Rumor Has It. Both were disappointments- I was convinced that I would like the first, but I didn't. Heath's emotions weren't believable to me. Plus, I couldn't help think about the first time they make um (definitely not love) lets say lust -and that the first time a guy fucks me up the butt I would hope that it would involve a passionate kiss first- but that's just me. I just didn't leave the movie feeling touched which according to the ads I was supposed to feel. Rumor Has It was like I thought it would be- I don't really like Aniston or Costner- and the story line that a girl goes after the man who she thinks could have possibly been her father and then sleeps with him after taking his word that he is sterile- it was damn disgusting. But Mark Ruffalo was in it so what could I do? There wasn't near enough of him in it though. I am heading back to SF tonight and I plan on going to a movie tomorrow night- a couple came that I was curious about- basically all of them are frightening.

Anyway- I got to bitch about people anonymously and now I feel better. Thanks.

I'm still alive (and employed) and so is my grandma

The last two postings are really down- and rightfully so- they were dark times in my life. I am still employed and am working at fixing the past choices I made. It is really hard because I am having to do a lot of work on my time off from work. I just wanted to say something so people who might stumble upon this wouldn't think I offed myself.